


Binding of Beau

by xxbluecullenxx



Category: Life and Death - Stephenie Meyer, Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Gay Edward Cullen, M/M, POV Third Person, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, beaus finding out a lot about himself, edwards accepting af, ftm Beau Swan, honestly i don't know why i wrote this but i've had the idea stuck in my head so here you go, trans beau swan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2020-01-05 04:24:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18358571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxbluecullenxx/pseuds/xxbluecullenxx
Summary: Isabella Swan has alway's been different, always felt off but has never known why. After moving back to Forks Washington into her fathers home, everything starts becoming more and more clear. A mysterious boy she meets at school makes it a whole lot easier to deal with than she had expected it to be. What will happen to Isabella when she decided to finally accept herself and become Beau Swan?Follow Isabella swan in her journey to becoming Beau Swan.





	1. Chapter One

Beau stepped outside carrying a suitcase full of her clothing and a backpack full of other things to bring along to her father's house. She rechecked her backpack to make sure she had everything. _Notebook, phone charger, laptop, the books I haven’t read yet._ After checking a few more times she knew she had everything she wanted to bring. She put her suitcase and backpack in the backside of her step-dad, Phil’s, car. Beau knew her mom was likely in the house checking and rechecking that she had everything. Shutting the trunk of the car sighing and putting her thumbs in her pocket.

“Beau!” A voice that she knew all too well called, a voice she would miss.

Beau turned around turned around and suddenly there were arms around her, almost crushing her spine. There was James, as emotional as he’d been when she first met him the first year of highschool. Trying to take my hands out of my pocket to hug back proved difficult with him pinning her arms down. _Damn it, if he keeps this up I’m going to cry_. Beau took her hands out of her pockets and awkwardly try and hug back, which proved hard since James as successfully succeeded in pinning her arms to her sides.

“Hey,” she said quietly, scared her voice would crack if she spoke up even a little.

James pulled back and smiled sadly at her, in his hands he held a small cactus. Before she could ask why he was holding a potted cactus pushed it toward her, expecting her to take it — she did.

“So you won’t forget about us back home yeah?” James said.

Beau smiled softly. James had been the only real friend she had here in Arizona, thought she had met a few people through James that she managed to get along with... but now that was all changing. She bit her tongue in an attempt to not tear up knowing that she was saying goodbye to her best friend... her only friend really.

“Hey... don’t look like that, I’ll come to visit during the summer. And hey, you can always come to stay with us if Charlie drives you up the wall too much.”

“Thanks, James” Beau said when she was confident that her voice wouldn’t crack, or waver.

“James, coming with us to the airport?” Beau’s mother asked from behind her, as she walked out of the house Phil by her.

“I thought about it, but I might cry if I do that so...” he trailed off before looking at his best friend.

Now it was Beau’s was turn to pull him into one last hug. James was the only one she could truly be herself around, and she wasn’t going to see him for a long time. It felt like it would be forever until the next time they saw one another... though she had his number as a speed dial contact on her phone, and she knew they would text constantly. Still, the thought of leaving him in Arizona and going to Forks, Washington to live with her father was making her miserable. James gently patted Beau’s head.

“I’m going to miss you B” James whispered, knowing better than to call her ‘Beau’ in front of her family.

The girl cursed under her breath as she started tearing up. “I’m gonna miss you too” she admitted.

“You two are being very sweet, but we’re going to miss your flight Bella and ours, so let's get a move on,” Phil’s voice broke through the moment, making Beau flinch slightly.

James gave her a sympathetic look and kissed the top of her head before pulling away. Beau watch him start to walk back to his house. He turned back to look at Beau waved his hand.

“Call me when you get settled in!” he called.

Beau gave him a thumbs up before getting in the car. The ride to the airport felt too short for Beau’s liking and it made her stomach feel like it was doing flips. Her mom and Phil were in the front holding hands. It reminded her of why she was moving in with her father Charlie in the first place... for her mom. Phil was a minor league baseball player, so he traveled a lot for work, and because of Beau her mother always had to stay back whenever he left for a game, after talking it over with Beau one afternoon she decided she would rather her mother be happy spending some time with Phil, even if it meant she’d be miserable in Forks for the rest of high school.

Beau got out of the car and grabbed her suitcase and backpack, while her mother got out to walk her inside, with Phil walking a little behind them to give the two of them some privacy.

“Bella are you sure-”

“Yes mom...” she said softly “don’t worry about me, I’m excited to spend some good quality time with Ch- dad” Beau smiled, still holding the small cactus in her hand, wondering if they would let her take it on the plane with her, maybe she should shove it in her backpack and let it sit there until she landed in Forks.

He mother smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. “I’m going to miss you Bella,” her mother said softly. Beau inwardly cringed but hugged her mother back tightly.

“I’ll miss you too mom, I’ll call you as soon as I can after landing,” Beau said looking into her mother's eyes. She was worried about leaving the harebrained women alone a lot of the time.

“Okay,” her mother said.

After a few more minutes of goodbyes, Beau got on the plane, grabbing her iPod out of her backpack once electronics were allowed on and closed her eyes to let the music in her earbuds drift her to another reality. A reality where this wasn’t happening, where everything felt like it wasn’t falling apart... where she didn’t feel so confused.

 

Beau didn’t know when she had fallen asleep but the stewardess woke her up as the plane was landing. She was groggy as she got off the plane, finally able to take her little plant friend out of her backpack and let it get some real air. Her eyes landed on Charlie almost immediately and she walked to him, in his police uniform.

“Hey, Bell’s,” Charlie said softly, instead of hug he reached and took her suitcase, despite the fact she would rather carry it herself.

“Hey dad,” she said, internally begging for the awkwardness to die down.

“How was the flight?” he said as he started walking her out and lead her -- to her horror -- the police car.

“It was... okay,” she said after a pause, nodding a bit.

They got in and left the airport, Beau leaned back in her seat, the radio playing some old rock station on low, with bands probably from her dad’s teenage years. She couldn’t help but tap her foot along to some of the songs. Beau expected the ride there to be painfully silent, and she almost preferred the, but her father spoke up.

“so I know you wanted to get a car of some sort,”

“Um... yeah, having my own ride would be nice,” she said.

“Well uh... I found this truck for pretty cheap, it had just been fixed up and runs like a dream” Charlie said.

Beau felt herself sigh, the ‘cheap’ part worried her, she just expected to have to walk to school or suffer the embarrassment of having the ride the police chiefs car for a while before getting her own car.

“How cheap are we talking?” she asked.

“Well… actually I already got it off of Billy Black for free... do you remember him?” he asked.

Beau silently shook her head and sighed. _Perfect_. Beau hated that she might be driving a clunker that would draw unwanted attention to her way. But she tried to stay a little positive, at least no rides from the chief to school! Beau felt a small sigh leave her lips and she looked out the window, as both of them let that silence creep over the car again and this time it stayed that way.

Charlie finally pulled up to his house, the first thing Beau’s eyes landed on was the house, it looked like it had never changed, a small tire swing hung from one of the trees from, a small attempt her father made to give the house more appeal to come back to for Beau. Then her eyes went to the big red Chevy truck parked in her father's driveway, to Beau surprise, she loved it.

“Oh my god, Dad... that's mine?” she asked looking at Charlie.

Beau’s father seems pleased with his daughter reaction and smiled giving a sharp nod “yes mam’ all yours” he said. Beau ignored the dreadful feeling she got from those words, she didn’t know why she felt so... detached from them but she had gotten used to that feeling that it was almost normal for her heart to sink and stomach to lurch a little each time someone said something like that.

“Well get out go have a look at it!” her dad encouraged.

Beau nodded and quickly got out of Charlie's car slinging her backpack over her shoulder and quickly walked over to the truck. Charlie was left with the task of grabbing her suitcase out of the car before joining Beau by the truck. Beau’s eyes lit up looking at the truck. _Big, sturdy, definitely old, but safe_.

“It's perfect!” she said looking at Charlie.

“Well I’m glad you like it Bells” Charlie smiled placing his hand on her shoulder it was meant to be a loving gesture, no doubt, but it seemed to make both of them uncomfortable, he quickly retracted his hand.

Beau smiled softly and they walked inside together. Her dad lead her to her room, a dull pink, from when her father had first painted it, in the corner a rocking chair that has small bits of paint chipped off. The only thing he seems to have changed is the fact the bed was now a twin sized mattress, instead of a crib, and there was now a desk with a computer that looked like it belonged back in the 1980s hooked up to the phone line. Beau could only guess it would make that horrible dial-up sound each time she wanted to go on the internet, she would try to keep her internet usage limited to emailing and of course skype calls if the internet would even be able to handle that. _May use that car money for a laptop._

Beau looked over toward her father and smiled, her father set down her suitcase before clapping his hands.

“Right... I’ll leave you to get settled then,” he said.

Beau nodded and watched as he left the room, that was the best thing about Charlie, he didn’t hover. She could cry if she wanted to, now that there was no one around to see her, so she let out a few tears as she unpacked everything from her suitcase. Dinner with Charlie went smoother than expected, and after a shower, she turned in early. Beau didn’t sleep very well, considering the rain outside felt too loud hitting against the roof, and the occasional scraping of the tree against her window. Only after throwing on her headphones and pulling the blankets over her head did she manage to actually get some rest.

The next morning she still felt tired but got dressed and tried not to spend to long looking in the mirror and obsessing over the way her clothes hugged her body. She grabbed her basically empty backpack and ran down the stairs to see her father was already gone, most days would probably be like this, but she didn’t mind that, she even found herself planning try and wake up a little earlier so she could have the house to herself and maybe even cook some breakfast. Beau walked over to the pantry and looked through her father's food her eyes finally settling on a box of blueberry pop tarts, she grabbed one of the packets and put them into the toaster glancing back and forth between the toaster and clock while waiting for them to warm up. When they popped up she grabbed the hot pop tarts out of the toaster hissing slightly as she put them on a napkin and running to her car throwing the hood of her oversized sweater over her head, she got into her truck as quickly as possible and put the pop tarts on her cup holder breaking off pieces as she drove her car to the small collection of buildings that made up the Forks High School. Multiple  small square buildings, Beau assumed that each building probably held one or two classes at most.

   Beau drove around the parking lot for awhile before eventually finding a parking spot for her truck. She parked, getting out and walking to what looked like the main building. She went in pausing a moment before walking up the front desk and were an overly cheery, plump women with tight curls in her hair sat.

“Hello dear,” the women said cheerfully, her smile almost hurt Beau’s cheeks.

“Hi... I’m Bea- Isabella Swan” Beau said forcing herself not the flinch at the name.

“Oh! Isabella, my you have grown, Charlie hasn’t stopped talking about you since he heard you were coming up to live with him!” she said excitedly “oh I’ll get you your schedule and a map, your teachers will give you your books, but I also have a slip that you need your teachers to sign” she rambled as she got to work grabbing stuff from her desk.

Beau sat there and nodded politely as the women, which by the name tag was named Mrs.Mongo, over explained everything, eventually though Beau was able to mumble a quick goodbye and make her escape. She walked to her truck burying her nose into the map trying to burn it into her memory so she wouldn’t have to look at it later while walking around the school. Beau just wanted to blend in and if she was lucky to go unnoticed the whole day, and if she was even luckier go the whole year without any unwanted attention. Once Beau was sure she knew the lay out of the school, she shoved the map, along with her schedule into the pocket of her hoody and walked toward her first class building. _English_.

Almost right away as she entered the building, Beau felt eyes on her, getting a look at the ‘new girl’, it made her hair stand on end to know so many people were looking at her. _Just breath_. she walked up the teacher and gave her the slip.

“Ah, Isabella Swan,” the teacher said.

Beau couldn’t stop herself from flinching this time “Bella” she corrected, she would rather be called Bella if she had to choose between the two. The teacher just nodded and signed the sheet, before handing her a book from the desk they were by.

“You can sit wherever if free, we don’t have any seating arrangements in this classroom” the women smiled.

Beau nodded and walked to a desk at the back of the room and sat down, hugging herself slightly as she got comfortable and tried to blend in with the seat.

“Like vultures aren’t they?” a girls voice caught her attention and Beau looked to see a black hair girl with glasses and a slightly shy smile had been the one to speak to her first.

“Sorry?” Beau said.

“Everyone staring... like vultures looking at prey,” she said her confidence seeming to waver now.

Beau glanced around at the people making quick glances at her, while others full on staring at her and not bothering to hid it “Yeah... like vultures” she agreed to make the girl smile.

“I’m Angela, your Isabella right?” she asked.

“Just Bella” Beau corrected.

“Okay well, Just Bella, what's your next class?” she asked.

Beau grabbed the crumpled up piece of paper from her hoodie pocket and uncrumpled it staring at the schedule “um... history?” she said after a small bit.

“cool I can walk you there, that right next to the biology building,” Angela said before going quiet as the teacher started the lesson.

Angela did walk her to her class, chatting idly as they walked. Angela was a friendly shy type, apologizing every now and then for saying something, hugging her books to her chest as they walked, going on about the school paper she worked for. Beau didn’t mind, it was endearing in a way. During history, she met another boy named Eric, who knew Angela and also worked for the paper, and Beau ended up having another person walk her to her next class. Pretty much up until lunch she had people willing to walk with her to classes, so she never had to look at the map again. It was a lot of correcting people about her name ‘ _its Bella_ ’ she would say, sounding dead, probably looking unemotional as she could, blocking out her feelings about it. It made her miss James and her friends back home even more, they knew her name was Beau, and they didn’t question why she wanted to be called it. She didn’t even know why she prefered it, but she did.

As a child she had innocently asked her mother what her name would have been if she was born a boy, he mother had said ‘Beaufort’ even as a kid she thought that was a little much, she would tell people that was her name, including James when she first met him, it ended up getting shortened to just ‘Beau’ later on. However, her mother found out and scolded her for lying to people. Since then, Beau would only tell people she trusted her name. One of those people was James, and most of James’ friends.

Beau went to lunch being walked by another boy she had met during math named Mike Newton, he was an overly friendly, overly cheery type of guy, he insisted on walking her to other classes and lunch. He was sweet though, and Beau didn’t have the heart to tell him to ease off a little or leave her alone. She took out her phone and took a tray to grab her food. She saw a message from James and smiled.

_‘Hey Beau, hope Forks rain didn’t melt you ~ any cute boys? Oh! by the way, I’m going to email you a link to an article I think you need to read. I really want you to be comfortable in that new school, and it might help you’_

_I’m not completely a witch, so I didn’t melt... yet. No cute boys yet but I promise to sneak pictures for you if  I do see any. Though I think one of the guys that have been showing me around you would totally fall for, he’s the dork type, I think he plays some sort of sport here because he has a letterman jacket... you’re still into those types, right? I’ll check my email later and read the article. Better not be anything weird or I’ll take a flight out just to punch you. I’ll call you after I call mom tonight ~ miss you so fucking much xoxo._

Beau sighed as she sent it and put her phone back in her pocket before getting dragged away by Mike over to a table where Eric, Angela, Mike and another girl she had briefly met named Jessica sat. Beau couldn’t help but think about James trying to flirt with Mike and getting shot down, or maybe not... It's had only been a say since she left and she was already thinking about how much she just wanted to be at lunch with James poking fun at some of the people in her school. She sighed and grabbed a carrot stick as the people around her talking, and tried to ask her questions. Beau did her best to answer and not seem rude, they were all being so nice and she hated to just throw their kindness away. Her eyes flickered around the cafeteria taking in the type of people sitting together, they eventually landed on a group of pale, slightly older looking people, some of them looked like they would be more college-age then high school age.

   “Hey... who are they?” she asked, making the group she was sitting with follow her gaze.

   “those are the Cullens” Mike scowled a bit... Beau's eyes met Mikes for a moment before looking back to the Cullens.

   “They all live together and their all dating, it’s like... totally weird but... the black hair pixie looking one is Alice” Jessica started explaining “and the one that looks like he’s in pain is Jasper, their an item the really buff, tall one is Emmett, and the blond one is Rosalie, they’re together” she said quietly.

Beau looked at all of them as she pointed them out, she tried not to make it obvious but that was kind of hard when they all looked breathtakingly beautiful, she had to stop herself from staring to long.

   “Oh and that one coming in,” Jessica said her tone turning slightly sour “Is Edward Cullen, totally gorgeous, but don’t get your hopes up of asking him out... apparently, he’s too good for anyone in this school” she said.

Beau could guess that Jessica probably asked him out and got shot down, her eyes went to the male and she sucked in a breath. He had auburn hair, a chiselled jaw, everything about him -- like his sibling -- seemed absolutely perfect. She could have sworn she saw Edward laughing at the comment Jessica made, but she wasn’t sure. Beau quickly looked away and back to her ‘friends’.

“They all live with Dr.Cullen and his wife,” Angela said with a small smile.

“Dr.Cullen, by the way, is totally dreamy too, I wouldn’t mind if he adopted me,” Jessica said.

Angela giggled and Beau saw Mike roll his eyes out of the corner of her eye, she gave him a small smile, it was obvious Mike didn’t like the Cullen’s, though Beau couldn’t care enough to ask why. The conversation went back to asking Beau questions and giving half-assed answers in a return. _Today was going to be long._

  



	2. Chapter Two

Beau had Mike with her to walk to her biology class, the boy tried desperately to start up a meaningful conversation but Beau didn't feel like talking so she gave him bluntly, and boring answers. She felt a little bad, seeing as Mike was being so nice to her, but she just didn't have it in her to talk to him in depth about Arizona or even about her favorite books to read, she just wanted some time alone, but she doubted she would get at school.

They entered the small rectangular building, each one looked so much alike besides to the small number by the outside door and sometimes how the decoration inside was different, this one had a fake skeleton in the corner of the room next to the teachers desk, dressed in a suit, and small name tag that said ‘ **GREG** ' on it in big bold letters, along with a few dead things in jars on some shelves. She wondered if the name on the skeleton was given by the teacher or the students. Her eyes flickered from the skeleton to Edward who was sitting at a table by himself spinning pen, he looked up meeting Beau's gaze. Beau felt unsure of what to do so she gave a smile, as she walked closer to the front desk past the fan sitting by it, a bit of her hair blowing from its place.

Edward gripped the table as the overwhelming smell hit him. He closed his eyes and turned his head away in an attempt to stop the smell from taking over him any more than it already did to his dismay, it didn't work. Beau noticed the shift in behavior and furrowed her eyebrows as the teacher signed her slip.

"and you can take a seat..." Mr.Marlo glanced around before gesturing to the seat next to Edward "right next to Mr.Cullen over there" he said.

Beau could have sworn she saw the boy cringe before moving to stare at nothing out the window. Beau took a deep breath trying to collect herself before walking over and sitting down, placing her backpack on the floor next to her. She tried to hide the fact she was looking over at Edward by letting her hair fall in front of her face and taking small glances. The boy couldn't have been further away from her without jumping out the window, he was pressed against the wall part way off his seat staring intensely at her with his _black_ eyes. Beau felt a small bit of fear spark in her, she wasn't scared of Edward, but fear that she might have smelled bad. She sniffed at her hair, which smelled like her coconut shampoo, then her clothes, which smelt like the perfume she forced herself to put on every morning.

Again she glanced over, she noticed something that she could only describe as hatred toward her in his eyes... did he judge her that quickly? she hadn't done anything to him, she hadn't even said hi and head already judging her? _how dare he judge me without even knowing me_ . At this Beau grabbed her pencil slightly tighter, and tried to focus on the teacher at the front of the class. But she couldn't, not when Edward eyes were burning holes into the side of her head. _I'm going to give him a piece of my mind when the class is over_. She had made up her mind that she was going to ask this boy, who didn't know her, what his problem was, however when the bell rang he was gone, faster than she could ever even hope to move, she sat there looking after him and unfortunately Mike was able to get to her before she could pack up.

"Did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what?" Mike asked.

"Sorry?" Beau asked putting her bag back over her shoulder.

"I have never seen him look that pissed before," Beau noticed that Mike seemed a little too happy about that.

"Yeah... I don't know what his problem is" Beau huffed.

"That's all the Cullen's, they think their so much better than everyone else," Mike said as they walked out.

"Oh?" Beau asked.

"Yeah they're a bunch of anti-social rich kids, that won't talk to anyone in this school besides each other just because their adoptive parents have money," Mike said, "Carlisle Cullen's the only sociable one in that family" he added.

"Carlisle… the one Angela mentioned right?" Beau asked as they started walking toward the main building again.

Mike seemed board of the conversation but Beau couldn't help but be interested and hoped that she could get Mike to give up a bit more information.

"Yeah, he's a doctor here, he's pretty good at what he does, he did my check up for me before school started, he's really nice so I'm surprised any of those kids live with him," Mike said.

"I see" Beau mumbled "...Hey thanks for showing me around Mike, I know I haven't been the most talkative but honestly, I was kinda hoping for people to just ignore me today... but you haven't been so bad" she said, realizing she should try and show some gratitude toward the boy.

Mike lite up at that and gave a big smile "No problem, anytime you need me, I'll be there!" he said before glanced at the door of the main building "I should get home, I have a work, but I'll see you tomorrow Bella!" he said before waving and cheerfully running off.

_Well if I can make one guy day..._ Beau walked into the office, pausing a moment when she saw Edward Cullen standing at the front desk having what looked to be a heated conversation with the receptionist.

"There has to be something, anything to replace that hour, I don't want to be in biology anymore, I'll take anything, anything you have" he seemed to be demanding and pleading with the women all at the same time.

"I'm sorry but we don't have anything, you’ll just have to make do," Mrs. Mongo said.

Beau notice Edward tense again, leaning against the counter, for some reason she guessed that his eyes probably closed for a second.

"Just a second dear" Mrs. Mongo said.

"Just... never mind forget it" Edward stormed away from the front desk, away from Beau and a very worried looking Mrs. Mongo.

The receptionist shook her head before giving Beau a smile and Beau forced onto her own features before putting down the slip.

"have a good first-day hun?" she asked.

Beau couldn't help but glance after Edward who was long gone "yeah... it was good" she mumbled. She got everything she needed to be done in the office before being able to leave the school finally.

 ◈ ━━━━━━━ ⸙ ━━━━━━━ ◈

Home felt amazing after the day Beau had. She wanted to be alone for a little bit, and lucky for her Charlie wouldn't be home for another couple of hours. She walked upstairs and sat down on the desk chair, logging into the computer, that took forever to boot up, then she sat for another ten minutes listening to the horrible dial-up sound that computer made. _Definitely looking at some laptops._ Beau grabbed her phone from her bag and turned it back on, several notifications of missed calls from her mother made her sigh. She clicked on one of the notifications and called her back. As soon as the phone was picked up Beau started.

"Mom calm down, I just got home"

"You didn't call or text me last night, not even an email I got worried" her mother worried voice came through the phone "anyway how was school?" she asked after a few moments of coming down from the frenzied state she was in.

"It was... okay," she said with a small sigh.

"What's wrong are the kids in school being mean?" she asked.

"No mom... everyone's been really nice," Beau said shifting her phone to hold it between her shoulder and her ear as she logged into her email.

The first email at the top of the list was James' that he told her to look at, Beau clicked it.

"Then what's the matter?" her mother asked.

"Nothing mom, I'm just still getting used to everything" Beau admitted.

"We can always bring you home"

"No mom, I'm fine really... I like it here" she lied through her teeth, Beau had never been a good lier but she didn't know what else today.

Beau's eyes flicked to the email that had loaded up.

_I think you need to check this out, don't get mad at me._

_\- James_

Beau frowned a bit before clicking the link, she knew it would probably take forever to load but she had her mother on the phone to calm down. She gently started a swaying motion in her chair as she talked, taking the phone back into her hand.

"Are you sure?" Renee asked.

"Charlie likes that I'm here," Beau said, "I already made some friend" she steered the conversation another way.

"Really, well tell me about them!" her mother seemed excited.

"Well there was this girl named Angela, she runs the school newspaper, she's really down to earth and nice to me," she said "then..." she paused to think "Mike, he's really nice, he showed me around the school," she said.

"Oooh a boy, is he cute?" her mother urged.

"Mom... no, I really don't thin-" Beau's eyes went back to the screen reading the title of the article, the slight swaying motion she had going stopping.

"Bella? What is it? is something wrong?" her mother voice broke her attention away from the screen.

"No... No mom, I have to go.... homework and stuff, and I told James I'd call him after school" Beau said.

Beau was quick with the goodbyes before grabbing the mouse and scrolling through the article.

She didn't even get through half before she grabbed her phone and went to the messages between her and James.

_What's this all about? I'm not... I can't be... James, we have talked about this once before! Why are you bringing it up again now?_

_You won't even say it will you? Beau, it's fine, and I'm bringing it up again because I see you, I know you, I've known you for a long time... I want you to be comfortable is all. Can you tell me that without a doubt your comfortable and sure of who you are?_

Beau paused reading the text again before leaning back into the chair and thinking for a moment.

_No..._

_Why are you so scared that you might be transgender?_

There it was, that word, one that sent panic to Beau's heart, she didn't know why it scared her so much, the point where she couldn't even read the article completely. She couldn't be... She was scared beyond belief that she might be, and she didn't know how to calm that fear in her. She always stifled all her feelings about it down.

_I... I can't be... I don't want to be damn it! I want to be normal, I have to be, the chief's daughter can't be transgender, it would kill my mom_

_But what about you Beau?_

Beau felt tears prick her eyes and she cursed at herself before hearing a car pull up outside. _Fuck is that time already?_ she quickly got up and looked out the window to see her father police car parked in the driveway next to her truck. Beau quickly closed out of the browser and shut off the computer.

_James Charlie's home, we'll talk later_

Beau started down the stairs when her phone when off once more.

_Beau, you know it’s not the worst thing you can be... I'll love you no matter what and always be there for you, and your father is probably just so happy your with him that he'll accept just about anything... and god your mother loves you too much to lose you over something you can't help... you don't have to decide now... but please look more into it and think about it. Be you, Beau, even when the world doesn't understand it._


	3. Chapter Three

Beau ran downstairs and greeted her father with a small smile, she felt like a mess after the small conversation with James, but that would have to be ignored for the moment. 

"Hey" she greeted with a small smile as Charlie came in the front door.

"Hey Bell’s, have a good first day?" he asked as he walked to the kitchen.

"Yeah it was cool" she nodded slightly.

_ Awkward... he's your dad you can do better at this.  _

"Well we can talk more about it over dinner" Charlie opened the fridge and huffed a bit "how about we go out for dinner tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah sure, sounds good, just let me get my sweater," Beau said before rushing up the stairs and grabbing her favourite sweater, throwing it over her as she walked down the stairs.

Beau didn't fight with her mom often, in fact, it was rare the two even raised an octave to one another, but whenever Beau would wear this sweater her mother would always ask her to ‘ _ please change _ '. Beau liked the sweater, she felt like she could hide in it, it was a size too big for her, making it cover up her figure.

_ if it weren't for my long hair you'd probably think I was a... _

Beau stopped her thoughts and shook her head,  _ James just stuck that in your head, don't freak out in front of Charlie. _

"Nice Sweater... ready?" Charlie asked grabbing his keys from his pocket.

Beau smiled slightly, she may like staying with Charlie a bit more than she thought. She nodded her head and they got on their way. The drive was silent, not even the radio could save it, though every few moments or so, some cops chatting of the RC line would come through for them to listen too, though not much but small town banter.

The dinner was small, like everything in else in the town, no doubt a truck stop diner, but anything with some good food would work for Beau, there wasn't much to cook around the house from what she saw. They were seated and the waitress -- who of course recognized Beau -- took their orders and promised her a slice of pie lemon pie that she use to get when she was younger.

"Do you come here all the time?" Beau asked wondering how her father got along on his own.

"I would cook for myself but long hours at work and other things to deal with I don't really have time," Charlie said "don't worry about me" he added "healthy as a horse"

"Humans aren't supposed to be healthy as horses" she couldn't help but tease him.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him smile a bit, he knew how much it meant to him for her to be here, even if it wasn't her ideal situation she knew she couldn't avoid her father forever, so maybe coming here would help them bond... or at least not be so awkward around one another.

"I can cook, I cooked a lot for mom back home, heaven knows she helpless in the kitchen," Beau said.

"You can say that again... but I don't really have time to shop-"

"I can do that too," Beau said, "Might as well have something to do on boring days" she shrugged.

There was a pause in the conversation before Charlie sighed "Okay... you have yourself a deal, but no vegan crap" he said.

"Okay" Beau laughed "but we have to have healthy meals once in a while" she added.

Their food came while Beau was looking out the window thinking, they had stayed in silence for quite a while, but... Beau almost loved that, she liked being able to just sit with her father and not worry about making conversation. The awkward silence was slowly getting more comfortable with Charlie, maybe they weren't hopeless after all.

"Make friends?" Charlie said taking a bite of the burger he ordered while Beau picked at her fries.

"Um yeah... I met Jessica, and Angela and Mike," Beau said finally shoving a few fries into her mouth.

"Newton, his father owns the sporting centre down the block, he works there... Angela's a good girl, her family's nice, Never had much trouble from Jessica" Charlie gave a small rundown on the possible friends Beau might have now, he was pleased it wasn't any of the troublemakers in town.

"Um... Do you know anything about the Cullens?" Beau asked.

Charlie paused his eating as if Beau has brought up something they shouldn't be talking about, he looked at her and sighed.

"Yeah, why those students talking bad about them?" Charlie asked.

"Just said they were weird is all," Beau said suddenly more interested in eating now, shoving fry after fry into her mouth trying to make sure she couldn't answer any more questions.

"Don't listen to them, Carlisle Cullen - their father - is the best damn doctor we could of hoped for he could be working for triple his pay here in some other hospital but he chooses to stay here, and those kids you never hear a peep out of them, which is more than I can say for half of those students in that school" Charlie said his hand clenching his burger a little too hard.

Beau realized quickly that she struck a chord in her father and need to quickly mend it before anything else happened.

"There attractive" was the only thing she could think of...after all Edward didn't make much of good impression.

"Yeah, they are," Charlie said before pausing and looking at Beau slightly wide-eyed possibly not wanting to admit he thought so to he cleared his throat "if he wasn't married those nurses would never get any work done I mean" he added before continuing to eat.

_ So much for comfortable silence... at least I did some damage control. _ The rest of there eating was in silence, which was probably best, her father needed to calm down from defending the Cullen's like that. Beau hadn't been around a lot, but she had never seen her dad get worked up like that, he was usually pretty calm. 

They got back home and Beau excused herself upstairs and shut her door, she sat down at her computer and turned it on, after the long process of waiting for it to turn on, logging on to the computer and getting the internet to actually load up -- internet explorer of all things, she clicked on the history and went back to the article, she read it this time.

_ I'm just curious about the topic is all, I can read this without it being weird. _ Beau felt her chest get tight as she went through the article, learning about gender dysphoria, and things that typically came with being trans. She felt overwhelmed and quickly clicked out of theatrical and was met with the Google home screen again. It felt like her fingers moved themselves as she typed in the search bar ‘ **How to know if your transgender** ' she opened a few links, some articles and other things, reading further into subject, she closed them then quickly typed in another search ‘ **FtM Quizzes** ' another few more links opened as she took quiz after quiz, almost hoping for different outcomes, clicking on other quizzes recommended for that like ‘guess my gender quizzes' and other things like that, even a few videos of trans men talking about their experiences. Beau didn't know how long she stayed in front of her computer, reading taking quizzes and watching youtube videos, but she probably would have stayed longer if not for the sound of Charlie finally making his way up to bed made her quickly shut down the computer. She got out of the chair and threw herself into bed and under the covers, still fully dressed she pretended to be asleep.

Charlie opened the door and tell Beau maybe it was time to go to bed but when he saw her passed out on the bed all he did was walk in and turn off the bedside lamp.

"Night Bell's," Charlie said softly before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

Once Beau was sure he was gone she got up and actually got dressed for bed, before crawling back in. Her mind buzzing with questions, and hurt from all the information she took in.  _ I don't need to deal with this along with being in a new school, but its also a part of myself I can deny... I had never been comfortable in my own skin, especially after puberty... the first day I got my period I had a panic attack and almost screamed at my mom for suggesting I had gotten it.... being pushed into dresses by my mother... and being referred to as Isabella or even Bella made my skin crawl and stomach lurch. _ Beau turned in her bed and looked out the window, she couldn't think about this now... something else, she needed to get her mind off of this before she threw up. Edward... for a moment she could almost picture him, those pitch black eyes, his pale skin, the look he gave her  _ that asshole, I'm going to march right up to him tomorrow and demand to know what his problem is, I've done nothing to him to him, we hadn't even talked to one another and he already decided I wasn't worth his time. Who gave him the right? Just because he is unbelievably handsome doesn't give him the right to judge me without even talk to me! He can fuck off if he thinks he can just go that, I'm a Swan, and no one gets away with that! _

Just like that, her mind was off the transgender thing, and she was determined to confront Edward tomorrow, with an idea in her head she managed to get some sleep. 

The next day Beau got dressed and went to school more determined than she ever had been, however when she never saw Edward... the next day came and she didn't see him again. When a few days went by she figured he just changed schools. Did he really hate me that much that the very thought of being with me every day made him leave? Beau huffed slightly, next to her; Mike in a really good mood, and babbling on about some tv show he watched. 

"You should really watch it!" Mike finished.

But Beau wasn't listening as he walked into Biology class Edward Cullen sat in the seat next to hers making her freeze and her stomach twist into knots. She suddenly stopped making Eric who was trailing behind run into her.  _ What was he doing here now? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected leave, my creativity had been drained from me, but I am back! and to make up for my leave you will get 2 more chapters this week before I got back to uploading every Friday :) hope y'all didn't miss me to much! Thank you so much for the support on the first two chapters its really encouraged me to keep writing what I love to!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter :) we'll be back on schedule now for uploading every friday again!

"Bella?" Mike said with a small pout, he followed her gaze and scowled slightly at Edward, of course, that was who she was looking at, who else but Mr.perfect "Earth to Bella" he waved his hand in front of her face.

"What?" Beau looked at the boy "oh yeah, totally I'll check it out" she lied before quickly walking over to her seat and sitting down, she stared down at her book and wonder what to say, she was confident a few days ago, why couldn't he have come what the idea was still fresh in her mind?

"I have to apologize, Bella, I don't think last time I got the chance to properly introduce myself, I'm Edward Cullen," he said.

The sound of his smooth voice made Beau freeze, she didn't realize his voice would be so calm and inviting, in fact, she didn't realize till this moment that she hadn't heard his voice till now.

"Don't call me Bella" she clenched her book as soon as she said it, why had she said that? to him of all people.

"I thought you... preferred Bella... Um never mind what should I call you then?" he sounded confused but willing to take whatever name she gave him.

Before she could stop herself the name left her mouth "Beau"

The boy laughed beside her before pausing when she wasn't laughing "like... Beaufort?" he asked.

Beau licked her lips and thought for a moment before nodding, her mother was going to name her that if she had been a boy. _God awful name if you ask me, but it had given me the idea when I was little to introduce myself as Beau... why was it becoming easier to accept this about myself?_ There was silence between them and out of the corner of her eye she saw Edward nod before looking out the window. She took a deep breath and putting on a brave face before speaking.

"So... whats your issue exactly?"

Beau noticed Edward tense slightly before he looked her way with a slight smirk and confused look " _My issue_?" he asked.

"Yeah, you were glaring at me the first day I came in like I was the worst thing you had ever seen and then you just disappear for the rest of the week! So what it is?" she demanded, very proud that her voice didn't waver.

"I'm sorry... I- I wasn't in the best of moods that day... and I had some stuff to deal with outside of town" Edward said holding back a smirk from seeing Beau slightly worked up over his rude behavior.

Beau didn't quite believe him but she gave a firm nod and turned her attention to the teacher as he started talking. They were looking at onion roots today, and whoever got them all right first won this horribly cheesy golden onion, but Bau was confident, she had done this before.

"So how are you liking Forks?" Edward asked as they got their onion samples and started identifying them.

"It's fine I guess..." she said looking at the root "I don't really enjoy the rain" she added.

"So you moved to one of the places it rains the most?" he asked.

"It wasn't really my choice... I did it so my mom could go with her husband traveling and spend more time with him... to make her happy you know?" Beau shrugged she thought nothing of it, though she missed James and the warm weather she didn't regret doing something that made her mother happy.

"So now you're unhappy?" Edward asked.

Beau looked into his eyes, and feels her breath get knocked out of her, they were golden, completely golden, almost as golden as that stupid onion her and Edward were going to win, but brighter... how was that possible they were black the last time she saw him. _Did he get contacts?_

"No... I'm- It's just not my ideal situation, but I make the most of it" she tore her eyes away from Edwards beautiful golden one, Edward nodded and kept going with questions about Forks.

After class they walked out together to the student lockers she could have sworn she saw Mike pouting as the walked out of the classroom without him.

"So why do you like being called Beau?" he asked putting his hands in his pockets.

Beau plays with the statue in her hand and gnaws on her tongue slightly before shrugging and forcing herself to seem nonchalant about it "Always gave since I was a kid, I got in trouble a couple times for it because my mom doesn't like that I do it... but... I feel more comfortable when people call me that"

"And yet you haven't corrected anyone else?" Edward asked.

"How do you know that?" Beau said stopping in front of her locker and looking at him.

"Well... no one... no one else calls you Beau... So why haven't you corrected anyone else?" he says, Beau just stares at him "I'm sorry... I'm just trying to figure you out..." he seemed frustrated.

"Did you get contacts?" Beau ignores the question and apology.

"Huh? No why?"

"Your eyes, they were black the last time I saw you but now their golden... almost like topaz," she said.

"No... it's just... because of the lighting...and I should go" before Beau could say anything else Edward was gone.

Beau looked after him confused, _who lies about getting contacts?_ She sighs and opens her locker putting her books in it. W _hy the hell did I tell him to call me Beau, why did I trust him with that information?_ her mind went back to when she told him in class, besides the small chuckle at her choice of name, he didn't seem to care maybe he's a trustworthy guy... at least that what Beau was hoping.

The next day was Friday and Edward was ignoring her, she figured it was whatever, she didn't have time for Edward, Beau had her own problems. However he would say Hi to her during Biology, so it was almost a civil peace. Beau had been looking up tons of stuff about being transgender, it was so much to take in that now she was giving herself a break it was really all sinking in. On Saturday she sat with the phone playing for a few minutes before pressing the call button.

"Beau! I'm glad you haven't forgotten about me" James' voice was cheery.

Beau's, on the other hand, was tense and slightly shakey "Hi... James... I think you were right"


	5. Chapter Five

"Of course I'm right!" Beau could almost hear Jame's smile through the phone as he said that "but remind me... about what?" he asked.

 

Beau rolled her eyes before taking a deep breath trying to convince herself to say it, it made her feel ill even thinking about it, but she knew it would only get worse if she didn't address it, or talk about it with someone.

 

"About being trans... oh god I think I'm going to throw up," Beau said feeling her stomach lurch at what she just said, it was oddly freeing as it was ill inducing. 

 

"Okay one if you do please leave me outside of the bathroom while you" James said trying to bring the tension down "and two, sweetie you need to calm down, as I said before; there are worse thing to be then trans... in fact being trans isn't even close to being a bad thing" he tried to calm Beau, it actually helped "you really never thought you were?"

 

"I guess I never thought about it at all, I always ignored my feelings and shoved them down, I didn't want to accept that something was wrong" Beau threw herself on the bed and looked up at the ceiling "but the article you sent me threw me down into a rabbit hole of reading more articles and taking quizzes and watching videos... speaking of videos do you know how long it takes to load up a video on my dads dial-up?"

 

"Yikes, your dad still has dial-up?" James asks with a small laugh.

 

"It's like he lives in the 90s sometimes" Beau sighed and scooted fully on the bed playing with his blanket "It hasn't been that bad though"

 

James and Beau got distracted talking about some other things before James seemed to remember why Beau had even called in the first place. 

 

"So are you going to come out?" he asks.

 

"Oh god... Oh crap, I have to come out... christ, how am I going to tell charlie? how am I going to tell mom?!" Beau went back to the panic she was in before.

 

"I told you before, your father is just happy to get you back... but wait till your ready too, trust me, Beau, it won't be as bad as you think" there was the muffled call of James' name "Ugh, I'm Coming!!! I'm sorry honey I'll message you later" James said.

 

"No its fine, I need to think anyway" Beau hung up and curled up in her.... his bed. His phone made some noise after a bit and he grabbed it looking at the text he got from James.

 

_ so does this mean you want me to call you a boy, and he/him and all that stuff? _

 

Beau stared at the text for a while and can't help but smile, it felt right.

 

_ You would do that for me? _

 

_ of course, I would, you're my best friend <3 _

 

_ Then... Yes Please... _

 

_ Of course, dude :) tell me if you need any help with anything, I can send you links and other things, I know a bit about this. _

 

_ You're the best James <3 _

 

_ I know, I'll message you later. _

 

Beau sighed and looked up at the ceiling, he felt a bit better about all this... he wasn't alone in this anymore. He took a deep breath before sitting up and going to cook dinner for him and Charlie. They eat in comfortable silence... well it would have been comfortable if Beau didn't feel so much anxiety about everything going on his head. Beau was early to get to bed so he could just sleep and try to ignore everything he was feeling once again. He did manage to get sleep after an hour or so of tossing and turning, he was getting used to the quiet of the small town.

 

Beau sat up in his bed the next morning and stood up, his still half asleep mind seemed to wake fully up at the sight of white fluffy stuff on the ground. He threw his head back groaning loudly at the sight, snow meant the rainwater that was on the ground probably froze over.  _ I have enough trouble staying up normally, me and ice don't mix well _ . Beau goes into his closet and looks through his clothing. At least he had fairly masculine clothing, to begin with, though he felt himself being pickier than usual. But he settled on a slightly oversized band t-shirt that he was pretty sure he stole from James and some jeans.

 

Beau walks downstairs to see Charlie is once again gone before he is and quickly goes to the cupboard grabbing a pop tart _ perfect balanced meal to start your day with _ . Beau put on his heavier coat on with an extra sweater on... his cold tolerance was nonexistent. He can't help but smile when he sees that his coat hides his chest quite well. _ right I should ask James if he knows anything about hiding my chest.. _ . he walks to his truck nearly slipping a few times, he caught himself on his truck and looks down noticing the chains around his tires. He felt his heart warm up at the sight but it was too cold to admire them at the moment. He got into his truck and drives much slower to school then he normally would. 

 

Beau parks and gets out of his truck glancing over where the Cullens were gathered talking, he saw Edward staring at him, he rolled his eyes before looking down at the tires, now having a bit of time to admire the heartwarming gesture. His father must have gotten up earlier than usual just to put them on, it was such a small gesture, but it a loving gesture nonetheless, he felt his eyes tear up slightly. He sniffed slightly, the tires screeching on the pavement hit his ears and he looked behind him to see what looked like Tyler's van barreling toward him out of control, he could see Tyler desperately trying to turn the wheel and get back control of his vehicle. He freezes, he can't move so he closes his eyes bracing to be hit by Tyler and possibly die. 

 

_ I wonder if James will have my mom put Beau on my grave? that would be nice.... maybe he'll come out for me then I won't have to cause I'll be dead... gotta look at the positives, right? _

 

Beau opens his eyes when he felt someone's arms around him, just in time to see Edward pushing the van away causing it to skid more.... did he just push that with his hands. Edward looked down at him with wide eyes as if he just did something he couldn't believe. The van spun around back toward them and Edward quickly lifted the car off of its tires before dropping it. Beau laid on the ground where Edward had put him and stared at him amazed.

 

"How did you do that?" 

 

"Do what?" he asked with a slight smirk.

 

"Get over here so quickly, you were across the parking lot by your family!" Beau was sure of it, he saw the male staring at him from across the parking lot by his car.

 

Edward smirk dropped to a serious expression "Beau, how hard did you hit your head? I was next to you the whole time"

 

"No, you weren't! You were by your car!"

 

"Beau... please, I was next to you" this time Edward sounded like he was pleading with the boy, Beau opened his mouth to argue once more but melts under the pleading eyes of the male staring down at him "I'll explain later, I promise, just, please... I was next to you" 

 

"Fine" Beau groaned "but you'll explain later" he sighed before allowing Edward the carefully pull him to his feet. He expected Edward to let him go, instead the male held him steady brought him over to the emergency responders that were on the scene, so much noise was going on he couldn't focus on just one voice.

 

"Oh my god Bella are you alright?!" he was pretty sure that was Angela's voice asking that.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I swear I lost control!" that was definable Tyler.

"Don't worry Bella, we'll meet you at the hospital!" and of course Mike.

 

Each call of his name made him cringe a little, and also made him thankful that Edward was taking him to the ambulance. They laid him down and made sure he was alright before rushing him and Edward who had gotten in as well, to the hospital. 

 


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get to this! been super busy :) but hope you guy's like the new chapter, I'll try to go back to updating every week but no promises!

“Really, I’m fine it's just a bump” he tries while they wheel him into the hospital room to wait.

 

“It’s just to be sure, a doctor should be in shortly,” the nurse said before walking to deal with more important things probably.

 

Lucky him, he got put in a room with the man that almost ran him over, he would much rather be under the van now than in the hospital room with Tyler's constant apologies.

 

“Tyler I’m fine, are you okay?” Beau said for what seemed like that hundredth time.

 

“I’m so sorry Bella” Tyler groaned, it made Beau physically flinch at the name, sometimes it seemed to hit him harder than other times.

 

“It’s fine Tyler, your worse then I am” Beau tried once more, he really just wanted to tell him to shut up.

 

Before Tyler could get another word in Edward walked through the door, it was the first time Beau felt almost thankful for his presence. He walked straight to Beau looking down at him.

 

“Why aren’t you stuck with the rest of us?” Beau asked with a small yet almost playful glare.

 

“I have... connections” Edward smirks at the boy.

 

The smirk alone made Beau’s breath shift slight. Right, dad said Edward’s dad was a doctor... Carlisle right? Before he can ask Edward if what he thought was right the door’s to Tyler and Beau’s room opened, with a young doctor walking through, if possible he might be as handsome if not more as Edward, Beau glanced at the name tag seeing Carlise Cullen written on it. How the hell is their whole family so damn attractive? how it's that fair? Beau almost wanted to pout but managed not to. 

 

Doctor Cullen was extremely nice as he did the check-up Good looks and a great personality... and of course taken, must break hearts all the time. It dawned on Beau at that moment that if he was a boy, and attracted to guy’s did that mean he was gay? whole ‘nother can of worms that we don’t need to deal with right now. Beau followed the pop cycle stick with his eyes that the doctor was holding up.

 

“Just a bump, no concussion,” Dr.Cullen said finally.

 

“Told you,” Beau said softly.

 

Dr.Cullen gave a light laugh with a charming smile on his face if Beau hadn’t caught that Edward was also smiling slightly he probably would have melted from Dr.Cullen’s smile alone.

 

“Yes well its still good they brought you in... but I should say if you have any prolonged symptoms like a headache or blurry vision, I want you to come right back” Carlisle voice was almost caring in a way, Beau wondered if all patients got that kind of love from the doctor “You’re very lucky miss Sawn” 

 

Beau feels his heart wretch quickly before he shakes his head That hurt a lot more than usual... “I... I wouldn’t have been if Edward hadn’t been next to me”

 

Carlisle seems almost uninterested that his son just saved someone's life... Was he in on it? 

 

“Yes, well I’m going to go work on Tyler now... oh your father is waiting for you outside” Carlisle smiles once more “was lovely meeting you” he adds before walking to Tyler who had shut up finally.

 

Beau gets up and walks over to Edward who looked like he was going to try and escape from him, he puts a hand on his shoulder making Edward look at him wide-eyed.

 

“Is there somewhere we can talk privet?”

 

“Your fathers waiting for you,” Edward says as if that was going to make Beau give in.

 

“So he can wait a few seconds longer, you promised me answers” the boy glared him down.

 

Edward looked at him for a moment, before his eyes seemed to flicker to his father “Alright... follow me” he said leading Beau to an empty hallway “what do you want from me?”

 

“You know what I want” 

 

Edward shakes his head “and I supposed you won’t accept that I can’t tell you about it?”

 

Beau simply answered him with a glare, he was told once by James that his glare rivalled his mother protective look, though he didn’t know if Edward would think so or not, he didn’t seem very impressed by it.

 

“Well I can’t tell you,” Edward said “and don’t mention it to anyone, not like they would believe you anyway” he added almost in a mean tone.

 

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone!” Beau crosses his arms, holding his glare.

 

“You... then why do you want to know?” 

 

“Maybe because you defied logic and managed to get over to me before I was crushed by a moving van, or possibly because I saw you lift said moving van off the ground to stop it!” he kept his voice low to stop from yelling.

 

Edward stared at him for a while before shaking his head and walking away from him. Beau stared after him his mouth slightly open the nerve of him to just walk away! the boy huffed before storming the opposite way toward the front of the hospital partway there he ran into his father.

 

“Bells!” Before Beau could assure him of anything he was wrapped up in his father's arms “Crowly is going to lose his license!” he heard the worry in his father voice and hugged him back awkwardly patting his shoulder.

 

“Dad, I’m fine” Beau said pulling away from his father, “just a small bump... can we leave?” he asks “I want to go home and sleep” he admitted, as much as he would love to just go back to school he didn’t feel like having any more attention today.

 

“Yeah, we can go... but um... call your mother,” Charlie said sheepishly.

 

Beau huffed not saying another word. After a long conversation with his mother and ensuring her a million times that he wasn’t going to die and that no he didn’t want to come home, he was finally able to just relax in his bed with his cd playing in the background... Narva... he’s pretty sure he stole it from one of his friends back home but he couldn’t remember which one. Beau grabs his phone after recharging for a bit and opens up the messenger.

 

Hey, Can I call you?

 

Yeah! One Second. I’ll call you, Need to get away from Archer

 

Archer was one of James’ friends, the boy was nice, and Beau didn’t mind him so much, but except for James’ he never clicked with anyone or felt like he truly fit in... though maybe that would change now. An hour went by and Beau almost fell asleep but finally, his phone rang.

 

“Took you long enough” Beau answer with a small smile.

 

“Sorry Archer was being stubborn.... why are you out of school early?” he asked.

 

Beau takes a deep breath before explaining everything to James... well almost everything, leaving out the weirdly supernatural bit about him being able to lift cars and... cross a parking lot in a millisecond. James, of course, listened the whole time, he always listened to Beau... he wondered if he would ever get a friend in Fork’s that he could be as close to as he was to James, at least a fraction close would be nice.

 

“So...  A cute boy eh?” Beau could almost hear James’ smirk “Why did you tell me about him before?! Shame on you Beaufort Sawn, I could fly down there and smack you”

 

“Okay... never call me Beaufort again” Beau laughed slightly “and he just... well I guess I just spend so long being annoyed at him he was the last person I wanted to tell you about” he huffed.

 

“...And now you have to spill because you told me something about him so I need more” he can hear the excitement in James' voice... Beau finally after all these years is talking about boys.

 

“Well...” Beau sighs a bit thinking “He’s weird... He acts like he doesn’t want to be around me one day then the next he acts like we're friends and all cool...” he explains “he kinda speaks all proper like he’s not from this time period honestly, and he’s kinda stiff most of the time... his family and him are absolutely stunning... I met his father today and oh my god if he didn’t have a wife I may consider being Edward stepfather instead” Beau laughed a bit.

 

“a few weeks away from me, and you’re already turning into a little homewrecker” Jame joked making Beau scoff a bit “but listen, maybe he’s just shy, or doing that thing that guy’s do, try being more assertive with him, you make the first moves, throw him off balance”

 

“I don’t know...” 

 

“Come on Beau be a man, take control,” Jame says with a laugh.

 

“I’ll try... but no promises” he finally caves a bit.

 

“Okay keep be updated, I should get back”

 

They say their goodbyes and hang up. Beau isn’t very surprised when tomorrow come and Edward is ignoring him once more, and the next day... and the next day after that Beau was starting to think that maybe Edward regretted saving him...  _ that wasn’t his problem _ , It seemed like Friday didn’t come fast enough this week because Beau was ready to ignore all his problems until next Monday by hiding in his bedroom and reading, he needed some new books and was thinking about taking a trip up to Seattle to grab some more books from a store he liked there, he needed a bunch new books, plus it gave him an excuse not to go to the dance next week if he planned it ahead of time.

 

Finally, Friday came and Beau felt like he was finally going to get a small break, he started walking into school his backpack slung lazily over his shoulder, his hood up hiding his long hair. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mike running up to him, he slowed so the boy could catch up, he had a nervous look to him as he started walking to Beau. Beau pulled down his hood reluctantly.

 

“Whats up Mike?” he askes with a friendly smile.

 

“Well... I was just wondering... like... if you didn’t have a date to the dance.... you know next week, if you would think about... well, if you would want to go with.... y’ know... me” Mike stumbles his way through the proposal, almost cute in away.

 

“I was planning to go up to Seattle that day,” he said, not exactly turning him down - more avoiding turning him down.

 

“Can’t you go another day?” Mike asks hopefully.

 

“Nope” Beau says simply, he glanced over at the boy see his disappointed look, he almost looked like a sad puppy being told he couldn’t get up on the couch “but you could always ask Jessica” he suggest knowing how much that girl had been waiting for Mike to just notice her, maybe it would make thing a little less tense at lunch if he asked her out instead.

 

“Oh... Yeah...  _ Jessica _ ...” he mumbled before returning to a smile “well, there’s always prom!” he said 

 

Before Beau could shut him down the boy rushed away to his other friends, leaving him wondering if he could find something to do around prom so he could pass up on dancing altogether.  _ these two left feet don’t belong on a dance floor _ . Beau walked into the building that had their lockers, he noticed Edward rushing to catch up with him, this time Beau had no interest in slowing down for him. He got to his locker and opened it just as Edward finally caught up with him, Beau didn’t feel like acknowledging him and expect he was just going to sit there and watch him, however it surprised him when Edward actually spoke;

 

“So you haven’t told anyone?”

 

“ _ I said wasn’t going to, you ass _ ” Beau snaps at him.

 

Edward looks at him with a small smirk on his face chuckling a bit.

 

“What?!” Beau asks.

 

“Nothing, it’s just interesting seeing you get frustrated”

 

“Yeah... well it isn’t interesting to me” Beau huffed shutting his locker and starting to walk away again Edward simply followed this time “you know... it probably would be easier to just let the car hit me if you regret saving me this much” he couldn’t stop himself from saying it, it had to come out.

 

The amused look Edward once has slowly leave his face and is replaced with a scowl “you think I regret saving you?” he asks almost sounding angry.

 

“Why else would you be ignoring me and acting so cold?  _ You still haven’t given me any answer by the way! _ ” he said.

 

Edward goes quiet for a moment and looks around outside, Beau thinks he’s just going to ignore the question again and the silence starts to further annoy him “An adrenalin rush” he finally breaks the silence.

 

“What?” Beau asks.

 

“I had an adrenalin rush, their quit common, you can google it,” he says.

 

Beau rolls his eyes “it took you all week to come up with that?” he asked before signing a bit “Fine” he rushes away into his first-class leaving Edward to ponder what he meant.

 

The rest of the day was normal, he spends it making sure he huddled himself into the girls and kept with them so Edward wouldn’t want to talk again, he even managed to let out some of his annoyance and aggression toward Edward out during gym. Then English came, he actually had that class with Edward but always sat away from him, this time Edward seemed to have other ideas, once he sat down, Edward sat down in the desk next to him. He felt the other males eyes on him he tried not to look over to him but eventually, he did their eye’s meet, Edward leaned in closer.

 

“So whats in Seattle?” Edward asked.

 

“How do you know about that?” Beau asks back jotting down a few notes in his notebook.

 

“ _ you’re not supposed to answer a question with another question _ ]” the male next to him teases, he can’t help but feel like his breath was taken away by the male, it wasn’t fair...

 

“A book store, I wasn’t to grab to books to read during the school year and summer if I can” Beau explains.

 

Edward nods a bit and looks back at the teacher asking if he planes on driving there.

 

“ _ No, I plan on hitch-hiking _ ” sarcasm drips from his voice making Edward scowl a bit “of course I’m driving”

 

“Can you old truck even get that far?” he asks raising an eyebrow at him.

 

“Hey! my truck is perfectly capable of making long drives” he defends his truck.

 

“Have you tried yet?” 

 

“No... but I know she can!” he huffs and looks back at the board.

 

Edward rolls his eyes a smirk playing on his face “How about I drive with you then? I hate for you to break down then I have to save you again” he teases.

 

Beau’s eyes go wide, Edward was offering to go with him to Seattle? Another bout to confusion his him, this man was going to give him a heart attack one day. He sighed a bit and didn’t answer for a while, thinking, thinking about say no for the most part.

 

“Come on I’ll pay for gas the way up and back again” he offers.

 

Beau sighs a bit “yeah... fine, you can come”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter :/ next one will be longer!


	7. Chapter 7

Lunch came and Beau was hungry for once, though he doubted he would get much either way, he walked through the line grabbing things he wanted to eat. As he turns to go look at something else Jessica nearly knocks his tray of food out of his hand.

 

“Guess who asked me to prom?!” she says, her voice going up a few octaves.

 

Once Beau regathered himself a bit he smiled softly “who?” he acted clueless to who it could be, he was happy though that Mike took his advice, now things might not be as tense.

 

“Mike!!!” she giggles as Angela comes up to them with her tray, “I thought he was totally going to ask you... but then he asked me! and... and this alright, right?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, totally... you two will be adorable together” Beau offers a smile

 

Beau follows them to the table where the boys are already sitting, Beau squeezed himself in next to Eric, they seemed excited by something.

 

“ **_La Push Baby!!!_ ** ” Eric says with a big smiled wrapping an arm around Beau.

 

Beau furrows his eyebrows together “am I supposed to know what that means?”

 

“La Push is a beach by the reservation you know? we’re planning on going there on Saturday, it pretty cool” Angela explains.

 

“La Push Baby, what do you say?!?” Eric insists once more.

 

“Okay” he pushes Eric arm from around him “I’ll go if you stop saying that” Beau says making the other laugh and he tries to start eating the pizza he got, the talking his friends were doing become background noise, he tried to ignore the feeling of being watched he was getting he looks behind him, seeing Edward sitting by himself instead of at the Cullen’s regular table, he smiles and waves him over.

 

“Is it just me of is Edward Cullen waving you over?” Jessica says, he can sense a hint of jealousy in her voice.

 

Beau sees all of them look over to Edward “I should go see what he wants...” he says grabbing he try and quickly walking over to the other table placing his try down but not sitting “I thought you didn’t want to be friends” he says matter of factly as he sits down.

 

“Shouldn’t... I said we shouldn’t be friends, I do want to be friends with you Beau, I just think it would be best for you if we weren’t” Edward explains.

 

“Then why did you call me over if you if you're so bad for me?”

 

“I’m hoping you’ll come to your senses and not want to be around me eventually,” Edward says.

 

“Well... I’ve always had poor decision-making skills” Beau starts to eat his food, he has room to spread out not being squished between Eric and Angela.

 

Edward closed his eyes and sighs a bit as if a little frustrated running his hand through his hair before opening his eyes once more and watching Beau eat “Beau?” he finally breaks his silence.

 

Beau looks up and messes with a strand of his long hair, each time Edward uses his name it cause his head to go fuzzy and it feels like his heart skips a beat “yeah?”

 

“I asked you this before... but I have the feeling you weren’t telling me the truth.... why do you prefer being called Beau?” he asked.

 

Beau stares at him for a moment before shaking his head a bit “You aren’t truthful with me, why should I be truthful with you?”

 

“You still don’t believe me?” he sounds surprised by this.

 

“Why would I?”

 

“I can’t tell you...” Edward says simply, giving into the fact that Beau may never believe him.

 

“What if I guess?” Beau asks.

 

“I would be very surprised, but be my guest”

 

Beau scrunches up his nose a bit trying to think of what theory made the most sense to him, what one made him feel like he was on to something “Well, I thought about superheroes, you know like getting bitten by a radioactive spider, or being exposed to radiation of some sorts”

 

Edward simply chuckles and shakes his head “No... now...will you answer my question?” 

 

Beau tenses a bit playing with the bit of crust he has in his hand, his stomach feels tight again, like he might throw up, almost how he felt when it first hit him that he was trans, he didn’t know if he was ready to tell people, would Edward accept it if he just explained that to him. He looked up meeting Edwards golden eyes, something about Edward always made Beau calm, made him want to trust the male in front of him. He leans in close dropping the pizza back on the try, he notices Edward go still, stiller then humanly possible.

 

“I’m... not a girl,” he says carefully, feeling his stomach tighten, even more, he only gets a confused look from the male in front of him “I don’t think I’ve ever been one... I just... I just...” the reality of the situation seemed to crash down on him all at once he very quickly backed up from Edward and got up, panic overtook any calmness he had about him as he rushed out of the building leaving Edward and his tray full of food behind, he felt like all the air had been sucked out his lungs. 

 

Beau walked over to his truck and hopped in the back sitting against the cold steel, he shivered a bit hading forgot his jacket near the door in his rush out. He caught his breath a little and felt tears well up in his eyes. He hated how emotional he is over it, but he just told someone and now he was worried Edward would tell everyone, or at the least thought he was a freak. He sniffed a bit maybe the cold would overtake him and he could die in the back of his truck, he gripped the sides of his pants as he buried his face into his knees, hugging himself.

 

“You know, it’s not very nice to run out some on like that” Edward’s voice makes him tense, he doesn’t want to look up but he feels Edward throw his sweater on him, he pulls it around him like a blanket.

 

“Just forget what I said!” Beau says his voice muffled by his knees “and don’t you dare tell anyone!” he lifts his head glaring at the male pointing a threatening finger at him.

 

“Calm down, I don’t care that your transgender”

 

Beau’s breath hitches as he put on his sweater, Edward saying the word so casually, the word that still terrified him a little bit, he looked up Edwards meeting the male's eyes, they seemed to care at the moment. Edward got in the bed of the truck with Beau and sat down next to him.

 

“You don’t?”

 

“’ Course not... I just wish you would have told me sooner, I would have stopped my dad from calling you 'miss' at the hospital”

 

“No!” Beau quickly said “You can’t tell anyone! I haven’t even told my dad yet, what if he found out?!” he said panicking once more at the thought of having to explain it to his dad earlier then he wanted to.

 

“Beau... my family won’t tell anyone” he tried to reassure the boy “don’t worry, I won’t spread it around if though,” he says carefully.

 

Beau seems to calm down at this and Edward spends the rest of lunch calming him down and just sitting with him. He skips out on the class after lunch feeling too worn out to deal with Jessica or Angela in that class. They walked to their last class together, to Beau embarrassment Edward rest a cold yet calming and on his back...  _ how is his hand so cold _ ? They sit down and Beau takes out his notebook. He can’t help but think about the fact that Edward doesn’t have many friends...  _ sure  _ Beau’s kind of the same way, but he has some friends, and none of them is his family. He bites his lip wanting to invite Edward out with them to the beach... he decided maybe Edward would have fun or at least get out a bit.

 

“You should come out to the beach with us on Saturday, get out a bit,” he says.

 

Edward seems reluctant already “I don’t know...”

 

“Oh come on, you should socialise a bit... I want you to come, and I’m sure the others would be excited to have you” Beau try to convince him.

 

Edward shakes his head a bit, he seems to be thinking about, almost interested “What beach?”

 

“La Push” Beau notices any interest that was there seemed to melt away with the mention of the beach they were going to.

 

“I’ll think about it...” Edward says.

 

Beau frowns a bit, knowing that meant that most likely Edward wouldn’t come, but he tried to keep his hopes up despite everything. Everything else seemed to be a blur after that. Edward walked him to his car and said goodbye, again to Beau’s surprise he left him with a small pat on his head. He couldn’t help but scowl a bit as he tried to suppress a smile. He got into his truck as soon as Edward walked away and brought out his phone to text James.

 

_ I may have done something either really stupid or amazingly smart! I told Edward that I was Trans... Well okay, I didn’t say Trans, I said I ‘wasn’t a girl’ and he sort of just got it... He promised not to tell anyone but I’m still really nervous, and oh yeah, we’re taking a trip to Seattle together to visit my favorite book store next weekend and I’m excited about that!!! And you should be proud of me :P I’m going out with friends this weekend to the beach... I probably won't get in the water but still, at least I’m getting out! _

 

Beau drove home with a smile on his face, his cheeks almost hurt, he cleaned around the house as soon as he got home, grabbing an energy bar from one of the cupboards. He sat down on the couch looking at his phone to see an answer from James.

 

_ Beau this is something you call me about not text! OMG!!!! You’re going to get yourself a mans before me that's not fair!!!! I have been looking longer then you have :( and you move to a new town and guys are just falling out of the sky and into your lap! _

 

Beau laughs at this and goes to his computer logging into skype hoping that it will work and he won’t just be stuck on the login screen forever. He smiles when it does load and goes to James’ and his chat.

 

_ let's call on here! _

 

The familiar tone of a skype call hits before the actual answer screen does. He answers the call as quickly as the computer will allow him to. He fixes the camera on top to make sure it can see him properly, he scrunches up his nose as he looks at himself in the corner,  _ he needed a hair cut... _ he looked at James and smiled at he popped up on the screen.

 

“Okay, so tell me all about him, who manages to make Beaufort Swan fall head over heels in love with him, and come out?” Jame’s smirked.

 

“Shut up, I’m not in love with him! He’s just cute but I don’t know, he’s a little weird if I’m honest” he shrugs “the main reason wanted to call is because I need a little help with this... Trans thing... I have no clue where to start and was hoping you knew something” he said with a small huff.

 

James give a small smile “You know I always got your back, I know a bit about it because my uncle... well my aunt is trans but that a completely different side of trans... when you finally admitted it I asked her a few questions and she told me what she knew about the female to male side of being transgender so I’ll give you all the knowledge I got from her... though I suggest going to the library with faster computer and looking up things” he says, every now and then the screen stutters. James starts explaining everything he knows about, the processes, the surgeries, different ways to come out, how to socially transition before medically doing so, shots... yuck needles, Beau hated needles... 

 

“What about... I need a better way to hide my chest” he says “you know other than wearing clothing that I drown in” he said.

 

“You know what, I’ll send you some videos and links and stuff to binders that you buy and other things that you may want to look at,” James said with a small smile toward Beau.

 

“You’re amazing James, thank you so much!”

 

“Of course I am! How dare you doubt it! and when you’re ready to come out to your parents I’ll be here as well” he smiled at the boy.

 

Beau didn’t want to think about that at the moment, he still couldn’t believe he told Edward... “Enough about me, what about you, what’s going on in Phoneix?”

 

“Oh... not much, its hot as always, and the homecoming dance is coming up for us, no luck getting anyone to ask me out, I swear this town is too straight sometimes, or at least our school is” he huffed, James ran through all the drama that went on. 

 

It was nice just to talk to his old friend for a while. They said goodbye and hung up when Beau’s father got home. Saturday morning he was woken by a call from Eric, he answered reluctantly. Before he could say anything Eric belted out;

 

“La Push Baby!!!”

 

Beau heard a distant laugh from someone else with Eric, he groaned a bit and thought about hanging up on the male altogether. There's was some noise of the struggle, then Mikes's voice came through the phone.

 

“Come on! Don’t tell me you're still asleep, it nearly ten” Mike said.

 

“It’s the weekend...” Beau groaned “I can sleep in as long as I want”

 

“Well get your butt up girl! because we’re coming to get you!” Eric said.

 

Beau huffed and sat up “okay okay, I’m up, I’ll be ready by the time your here” he grumbled before hanging up on them. He got up and grabbed some clothing when he looked at his weather app it seemed as if the forecast had changed, so he grabbed his sweater and longs warm pants and ran downstairs, stealing his dads coffee cup right out of his hands and drinking from it to get some energy.

 

“Yeah sure... made that for you,” Charlie said giving Beau a look, and pouring himself some coffee in another cup.

 

“Sorry dad, need some energy” Beau smiled innocently “going out with friends today!” he said.

 

“Really?” Charlie seemed surprised.

 

“Yeah, Eric, Jessica, Angela and Mike all wanted to go to La Push to swim” 

 

“A little cold for that isn’t it?” Charlie said glancing outside at the nonexistent sun.

 

“Yeah, I won’t be swimming anyway,” Beau said.

 

A honk from outside along with about four cheers and yells alerted both of them that his ride was here. He downed the rest of the bitter-tasting coffee and waved to his dad.

 

“Be safe!” Charlie quickly called.

 

Beau was already out the door and getting into, what seemed to be, Mike’s car. He buckled up, now that he was fully awake he was looking forward to today, and having fun with his friend. and of course the small possibility of seeing Edward.

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me if you want:  
> tumblr: xxbluecullenxx and xxbluecullenwritingxx  
> twitter, instagram, wattpad, quotev, fanfiction.net: xxbluecullenxx


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